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 CURTIS JOSEPH DEMANDS TRADE FROM DETROIT RED WINGS TO THE 1976/77 MONTREAL
CANADIENS
Detroit, April 17, 2003 ? Citing his desire to play with a team that is
contending for the Stanley Cup, Curtis Joseph has demanded a trade from the
Detroit Red Wings to the 1976/77 Montreal Canadiens, according to his agent
Don Meehan.
"Curtis really enjoyed his time in Detroit", said Meehan. "But given the
team's first round sweep by the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, he's not convinced
that the Wings are dedicated to winning. Everyone knows that an athlete's
career is finite, and Curtis simply wants a chance to hold Lord Stanley's
Cup."
To improve his chances, Joseph has asked to be sent back in time and traded
to the 1976/77 Montreal Canadiens, widely acknowledged as the best NHL team
of all time due to their 60 wins, 8 losses, and 132 points, which still
stands today as the NHL record for points in a season.
"In his career Curtis has been held back by some poor teams in front of
him", said Meehan. "People were a little unfair in expecting him to lead an
untalented Team Canada at the '96 World Cup (which Canada lost to the
United States), they were unfair to expect him to play well against Sweden
in the 2002 Olympics (the only game Canada lost in the tournament), and
they were extremely unfair in expecting him to lead the defending Stanley
Cup champions out of the first round against Ducks of the Mighty kind. We
feel that Curtis can show the world just how much he belongs among the
goaltending elite if he can get a chance to play with the most dominant
team in NHL history. Only then will the world see his true value."
When questioned about Joseph's penchant for being outplayed by the
opposition's goalie when he is needed most, a pattern which Leaf fans
became very familiar with during his time in Toronto, Meehan changed the
subject and started discussing the most recent episode of The Bachelor.
Ken Holland, GM of the Detroit Red Wings indicated he will do everything he
can to accommodate the trade.
"As defending Stanley Cup champions, this season did not live up to our
standards, so changes are in order. If Curtis Joseph would prefer to not be
part of this team, we'll do everything we can to make this happen. I have
to admit that this is a bit of an unusual request, but I guess with Cujo
spitting in the face of his Leaf teammates last season we shouldn't be
surprised. I'm also concerned about having to find a time-travel device
before the 2003/2004 season starts, but we'll do our best."
And in late breaking news, Shayne Corson has quit his marriage citing the
stress of having to take out the garbage at least once a week. Details to
follow.
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